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March 16, 2005

Oleg's Big Adventure (Part III)

I have started this story exactly 3 months ago… but have been thrown off track. Now, that I have more vacations, I could bother finishing it. So this is where the story gets interesting. In the last part, I said that I will use my calculator as a laser to blast a hole in the wall. You might be wondering what happens next. Today’s Theme: Larger than Life.

I will walk out of the hole. Except I wouldn’t be walking out, I would be dropping out. Yes, dropping out - clouds will be all around me. Clouds will be under me. In fact, I will be standing on a cloud. Then I will notice that the cloud is made out of cotton candy. 100% sugar. One day its going to rain. And when it does, I will float down to earth and land on a cactus. I would get mad and kick the cactus. This would be a dumb idea, as I will regret it later. A little later, actually.

Anyways, forget all that, I will be in some desert (didn’t I just say it was raining). It would be very hot (hotter than it is now). I will immediately start thinking about survival. I would realize that I don’t have any water, but thats okay, because I got the coke.

After a day of wandering around the hot desert, I will find a giant conveyer belt. I will get on. It will be zooming at high speeds. After riding for 5 minutes, my head would start spinning. Then, I would realize that it goes in circles. Remembering that I don’t have much longer to live, I will pull out my handy-dandy calculator, and find the circumference. It would happen to be approximately 40,000 kilometers. I would realize that as the diameter of the Earth. That would mean I am on the equator.

Then, I realize that soon when the land would end, I will be cruisin’ the ocean floors. Realizing that wouldn’t be a fun experience, I jump off. The centripetal force would carry me far forward… and I will bump into a sign. It would say 50 KPH max. Then, I will see the Ice Cream Man. But he wouldn’t have any ice cream. He would turn out to be an undercover police officer and chase me to deliver my first speeding ticket.

I will quickly blind him with my flash light, and then get away on my balloon. Except that it would be in the shape of football, and instead of going home… I would be flying into space… more to come next time!

Posted by Oleg Ivrii at March 16, 2005 09:29 PM



Comments

The above story has been brought to you by the fine people at The Marijuana Growers of Canada.

Posted by: HarGi at March 17, 2005 09:34 AM

Nah...It's more like typical Oleg-ness

Posted by: Anonymous at March 17, 2005 06:51 PM

"After a day of wandering around the hot desert, I will find a giant conveyer belt. I will get on. It will be zooming at high speeds. After riding for 5 minutes, my head would start spinning. Then, I would realize that it goes in circles. Remembering that I don’t have much longer to live, I will pull out my handy-dandy calculator, and find the circumference. It would happen to be approximately 40,000 kilometers. I would realize that as the diameter of the Earth. That would mean I am on the equator.

Then, I realize that soon when the land would end, I will be cruisin’ the ocean floors. Realizing that wouldn’t be a fun experience, I jump off. The centripetal force would carry me far forward… and I will bump into a sign. It would say 50 KPH max. Then, I will see the Ice Cream Man. But he wouldn’t have any ice cream. He would turn out to be an undercover police officer and chase me to deliver my first speeding ticket."

If that's what going to happen, Oleg would be moving around the equator with a velocity of 8 000 000 m/s, and he would have an centripidal acceleration of 16 000 00m/s^2 that's it, if he sticks on the conveyer belt. Then, he would experience a force of 784 000 000N, assuming oleg is 50kg...

Posted by: Eric C at March 20, 2005 10:55 AM


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