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February 12, 2005

Eulogy for the local paper

The Bulldog will go out of business soon. That’s right, you heard it here first. So what was The Bulldog? It was once a mouthpiece of student opinion, a respectable newspaper of Don Mills Collegiate. However, things have changed that. With a lousy management, the creative set of writers simply couldn’t live up to their full potential. Their once good articles became mediocre. The readership has folded in half.

Nowadays, the front page is regulated by teachers and “others”, who wish to dictate the political movements of the school. Student opinion and the articles became irrelevant - this essential flaw will soon culminate in the Bulldog’s unsurmountable demise. The opinion at the end is misinformed. The horoscope just sucks. The pictures by the Cyber Arts kids are ugly. The content is boring. The writing is littered with tons of spelling and grammar mistakes. How much more bad can journalism get? It is only a matter of time until The Bulldog takes its place in the recycling bin of history.

The students of Don Mills Collegiate need something better to read. The commission of Oleg’s Big Party has looked over this demand, and as a result, will be instituting a print form of the blog. The commission has secured a deal with a local publisher - Arash Joushaghani. He and other top men shall lead negotiations with whatever is left of the Bulldog and attempt merger. The public file of the transactions may be obtained here.

This paper is written in the style of a non-expert. Adrian So assisted in the writing of this paper.

Posted by Oleg Ivrii at February 12, 2005 12:45 PM


Haha, Oleg, you should really go forward with this idea. Maybe advertise Oleg's Big Party in Bulldog?

Posted by: Tout at February 12, 2005 07:11 PM

Wow. Is it just me or is the quality of writing here infinitely better than at The Bulldog? Cheers to you all who read this.

Posted by: aSo at February 13, 2005 01:29 AM

I'm sorry to inform you all of the obvious, but the Bulldog was never a good paper. It was always censored, always irrelevant and most important - the horoscopes always sucked.

However, your assertion that they "wish to dictate the political movements of the school" is absurd. I'm not even going to debate their motives because they are incapable of accomplishing such a feat. No one takes the Bulldog seriously enough to actually read it and take a stance on an issue.

On the ironic side of things...
"How more bad can journalism get?" I'm fairly certain that this is bad grammar. 'How much worse can journalism get?' would be proper grammar. Perhaps your criticisms are a tad hypocritical.

Posted by: Chris at February 13, 2005 01:00 PM

Chris, you should read my blog more often. Your criticism is much too serious, perhaps the fault lies in you who misunderstood the tone of the essay (clearly its not a eulogy).

As for the grammatical error, it was clearly a typo. The difference between the Bulldog and the Big Party, is in the level of consistency. Thus by your reasoning, who are you to judge the level of my writing as a non-writer!?

Posted by: Oleg Ivrii [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 13, 2005 02:23 PM

Perhaps, it is you who is at fault. You must understand that I have a deep belief (one could say religious!) in battling sarcasm/blatant lies with even more stupid sarcasm. Ask Tout: he knows how I operate. Sorry for the confusion.

Posted by: Chris at February 13, 2005 04:06 PM

In that case, I am sorry (wait I am not), but your sarcasm just sucks. Just because one could say your beliefs are religious (cult-like), doesn't make them somehow "right". Your method of combat shows that either you are morally screwed up person (which I hope you are not) or just covering up your @$$. :D.

Posted by: Oleg Ivrii [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 13, 2005 04:11 PM

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